So, my day went by quickly. I didn't need to spend much time in the library to read/study. I can actually be easy this week. I ran into my mother on the bus and we sat together in the back and talked on our way home. I totally forgot that she was at Brooklyn Tabernacle's prayer meeting. I'll probably attend the next two Tuesdays since I don't have class.
Now, I get home, unwind and message Richard hello. He and I were catching up and then he tells me he is going to bed. No problem. He then messages me about ten minutes later asking how class went and so I jokingly told him that I thought he was going to bed. Well, then he tells me that one of his personalities Azariel woke him up to explain autonomy. Oh, and he is going through something with his cousin that he will just let the other three personalities come to a solution and deal with it.
Mmmhmm
so I said .."I see"
Of course this led to the conversation of what I thought about him and he was the initiator. So, I told him what I thought short of saying that his ass was crazy. It's all entirely too much for my brain to handle and while I appreciate the talks and how at ease things were between us, it's just entirely too much. He said he was frustrated because he doubts he will find someone on his intelligence level who can carry good convos and accept him. I said he needs to stop looking and she will come to him. He said something about being done and not being receptive. I didn't answer. He asked what I thought he wanted and I told him something serious by the way he was talking prior. I said I listened but I didn't take it seriously, but he said it sounds like I did. Basically, he tried to make it seem as if he wants to date casually and see what happens. Although, his ass was talking marriage and relationships and how he knows I'm the one. No, I'm the one who entertained your crazy long enough. That's all. I was the one who was taking the rational approach and saying I am taking my time , no need to rush. Maybe this was God's test to see if I would take my time when he sends me the next person for me. For the first time I did not allow myself get caught up in emotions and shared "me too's" or "lol's". I could have ended up with four people all in one if I did. I hope this was a test because otherwise it was not at all funny. Not in the least. Fate's evil joke is what it is..
Bottom line, Richard seemed cool, but I don't know about the others as I haven't met them nor do I want to.. He says he doesn't have MPD but Schizoid -SPD and the personalities come by way of that combined with cycothemia. I say.. I wonder if I told his ass my last name?.... no.. good! I believe he has more of a narcissistic personality disorder htan what he has described. He doesn't fit SPD. Someone with SPD isn't capable or looking for relationships. I also think that perhaps Mara is right and Clyde is his nurse. I swear he tried to warn me with a look when Richard was telling me one of his stories. He claims that most of his friends are like him or worse. I think crazy begets crazy never seemed more real. Part of me feels badly for him since it is genetic, but the other part's mama ain't raise no fool! See how crazy does? He already has me identifying myself in parts. Nah suh!
Needless to say, I deleted my profile from Match. They are reckless. I can't wait to discuss this in Psych class. I am going to have casual convos like I have been doing with him online, but that's the extent of it all. I did learn a lot about these disorders. It's just entirely too much. I don't want to judge him because it happens more than we think, and it's not his fault, but don't tell me one of the people in your head woke you up to talk. Don't even tell me you have other people in your head-with names! Hell outta here! It's hard to not laugh because it is so ludicrous, but I stifle it because it is not funny and it's more sad, if anything. Now I had to change my blog to private before one of them sees me talking about them. Shambles.
No comments:
Post a Comment