Spoke to soon !

OMG! In the wee hours of the morning , once again, Akeem and I were talking. Now bear in mind that my crimson wave is near, so I may be PMS-ing or I am suffering from lack of sleep. Or, perhaps it was the constant about those getting married at 28. The magical age when everyone thinks that if not then .. OMG.. THEN NEVER!!! One of those must be the cause of my irrational behavior since that is the only way that I can explain why my mind was possessed by a raging anti-marriage(for now) monger and my mouth had diarrhea and spewed all of this shit out!

It started with my convo with "O". He was informing me about his recent life changing events. He's having a baby with his new wife in their new house. Congrats to them. In the back of my head though, I am thinking .. why the hell are you married? and having a child?? Then, I thought about Tyrone(same age) who is also engaged and my friend's ex(same age) who just got married and is honeymooning.It seems like all of these people are just rushing to the altar before they reach 30 to save face and meet some ridiculous time line set by society. At least, that's what the the two that I now are doing and add in my friend's ex, since his reason was he did not want to end up alone.

Trey Wiggs was in my ear about the same mess earlier that day. He is also 27 and ready to settle down. Tired of being alone. He doesn't want to be in the streets anymore with pointless women. He wants something serious now and expects me to be that someone serious for him. While I gently let him know that he was crazy to think that I would get re-involved with him, I shook my head. Another one! Three out of the four men that I have dated that year are on "the path".

Now, why I felt the need to convey these thoughts to Akeem? Don't ask me why. But I did for about an hour and a half. Maybe it was because he is another 28 yr old who's interest is in finding a wife which he can marry within a year and start having his three kids? Oh yes! I asked him if we were together for a year and things were going well, then what would happen? He said he would want to "officialize" things and get married. Ha!! Rightttt. Rush , rush, rush. He is at that age after all.


Granted, I , too, have set myself on this personal time line for when I'd be ready to settle down,but I won't die if doesn't happen. I give myself until 35 to have my first child. First,I want to be settled in my career, living on my own for some time, and in a serious relationship for at least two years with someone that I truly love and am in love with before I think about seriously jumping the broom. Hearing about it now sounds completely absurd to me because the guys mainly just don't want to be alone. They seem to be looking for someone else to make them happy. They were freaking me out too.

So, I eventually snapped towards the end of the night and opened my mouth and let the diarrhea spew by letting Akeem and Trey know that I
1) Have no intentions of getting married in the next four years.
2) Have no intentions of getting in a serious relationship right now.
3) Think some of those 27/28 yr olds are rushing to be with someone/anyone before 30.
4) am happily single and focused on building my career.

Of course, Akeem and I went back and forth about it and then he said:
Well, stay focused and please pray for me to find my wife ASAP!

At least I was honest and upfront about where I am and where I want to be in my life right now, be it an indirect rant or not. I was able to be real with myself and him. Was I trying to push him away? No. He's cool, we click, but I don't want anything serious or casual. Just friends. Wow , right? I'm completely back into my corner.

Now Trey and I had a heated debate about marriage and he thinks I am crazy.
Trey said:
"Stop this bitter fuckery ting that you going on with. You're going to be my wife, so let them other men know that ----- is mine." Of course, I cursed him out and you see why we will never be married.

In the end, I agreed that I am just in a different place and frame of mind than the rest of them right now. For one, being single does not bother me.
Why do I keep meeting men who want to get married? Maybe I should look in a younger age range? Or, not on Match.com or any other website where it is crawling with men that are looking for "the one". I'm all for "the one", but can he let me start my fall classes? Perhaps I shouldn't have been looking in the first place.. Yes, that's where I went wrong. Post-breakup hormones will do that to you. Though hopefully, when I am ready , I won't end up bitching about not being able to find someone special who wants to settle down. Ohhh , I can see fate's evil joke coming to be already!