Coming soon..

The past has resurfaced.

"O" - Age 28. Newly wed.Expectant father! Met on Match.com in '05. Dated once after two months. Convinced that he was gay when we met in person. Feels the need to update me with superficial tidbits. "Oh I have so many clients to keep up with on my blackberry!" "I'm doing this, that, and the irrelevant third." Oh, please! Insecure in general. Desperately seeking approval, especially from women. Similar to Tyrone.

Carlton- 27/28. Dated briefly in the summer of '05. Dumped him for his unmasked contempt towards his ex and his then oblivious attitude towards his ignorant and racist remark towards his own race.Invents jobs and positions to seem important. Hides his culture. Thinks he is Caucasian. Says "Bro". Now engaged to an Asian woman who has done the rest of us a favor. HIGHLY INSECURE. Desperately seeking approval. Feels the need to let me know his salary, extra-curricular activities and anything else that I am not interested in , but tells me anyway.
"I got a job in Japan to teach English."(didn't happen)
"I live with roommates in our own apartment now" (sleeps on brother's couch).
"I live in Queens now, nice neighborhood, cheap rent."( No, it's cheap because you live in Bushwick. I checked the map)
"My sister -in law used to work for Viacom and I used to get free Evian water. I miss that" ...?
I have so much on my plate, My clients, managing the office, my website, my trip to nowhere, my fork, my knife,oh and I am taking tai chi and hip hop dance classes."

I care because...? You see where this is going..

Mind you, I dated both of these guys when I was 21 and was making well more than they were which didn't help, but explains their need to send me their financial charts.