Fly away

Frustrations are plentiful right now. I need to change my situation in so many ways. I only got four hours of sleep last night and it was of and on. When i finally decided to obey my multiple alarm clocks, physical and internal, it was already too late to salvage any chance of arriving to school on time. To further aggravate my mood, I missed my bus, naturally, and was forced to take the train at 8:30 while class started at 9. If that wasn't enough, imagine my surprise when the train was running as a shuttle bus. But WAIT! If that wasn't enough, imagine my surprise when the second train was running as shuttle as well! Oh, yes. Yes! That is my weekend bullshit. My Friday night is always stress induced. I come home early because the library is closed and I have no where else to go. I'm forced to endure rambunctious teenage boys in my basement, under my room, and I have to wake up for 6 am. They don't stop until 1 or 2. By then, my nerves are already shot. Then I have to muster up the energy to allow myself to relax and take the mere four hours that are left to sleep. God forbid that I am 15 mins off schedule. I'll miss my express bus and be at the mercy of the bullshit service of the MTA. I got to school at 10 30 on the dot this morning. Luckily , the professor was showing A Bronx Tale. One of my favorites. The emotions that the movie invokes only deepened my mood of sadness and slight despair. Can I deal with this until the end of June? I need an escape and sadly, I don't have one. Except here, I guess. I am so behind in my English class. My saving grace today was that he hadn't yet taken attendance. I could dedicate this week to catching up but most likely next weekend will be the same thing. I am going to go to First Saturdays at the museum with the girls this evening. Maybe even drop by Red's place and just relax there. I could just have a bottle of wine and drink my stress away but sadly, it won't help. I need an escape. My mother says pray but I think I forgot how. I feel more overwhelmed on days like this and I just internalize the stress. The sooner I have my own space, the better it will be for us all. Until then, I need to find somewhere to go until 2 am. It seems like 11/12 isn't cutting it anymore.