Hilarity!!

Excuse the intoxication and the hi-hiccups. I feel like one of those people from the black and white movie reels..

Brando called me after work to see if I had any plans tonight. Neither of us felt like staying in the house so we decided to hit the train and wing it. How sweet. This was our first time hanging out together as adults. Back in the day, we were too young to do what grown folk do.. so we would just walk around the neighborhood with Mara and entertain ourselves. Tonight, however, we decided to do something.. anything.. that will have us excited. So , he told me to be ready within 30 mins, but the poor fool.. you would think he'd know better. I was talking to Jazzy at the same time and I told her that Brando said I had thirty mins to get ready. She laughed, " Ha-ha- ha, silly man!... He'll learn" . Indeed he did. Poor Brando.. unbeknown to him... thirty minutes is not ish in my world. He sat on my steps at 30 after and 15 minutes later I emerged from my door. Prior to my stepping out, my mother opened the door shocked to see him waiting on the steps. She said hello and offered him some tea... Lol. lessoned learned. I did try to warn him. I finally came outside and went back in to switch jackets. It was unusually warm so I decided to go half crop and not leave much to the imagination.

So we walked to the bus as he complained about starving. I told him to buy some food at one of the corner restaurants , but he opted to buy some disgusting packaged donought from the corner store. He felt the need to defend himself and say " Yes, I still eat these", but I couldn't recall. We got to the train station only to find out that the L was running on shuttle bus. Joy! We took the shuttle bus and then it occurred to me that the bus is actually a train and will have to pick up plenty of characters and characters. Well , of course it did. There was the loud ass lady in the wheel chair and the ghetto hood rat who was in shiny clothes and I swear!!! Men are so dense. They see something shiny and they all have to stare. Brando proved my point later when we walked to Clinton Hills and he was mesmerized by the shiny sidewalk. This girl came on the bus with bad make Up, a gold shirt and these hot pants or tights and all the guys were staring at the shiny tights. Not a one of them looked up at her face. Sad. Then there was the gay teenage couple who were fighting with one another.... no words! .

So me and Brando decide to get off at Laffayete instead of the city since he was starving. We were going to go to Havana Outpost, but they are closed for the season. Sad face. We decided to go to the place with the M on it across from Bam's diner. It was funny since Jazzy was going to join us but we didn't have a plan. She said she knows when we don't have a plan we always end up going to the same place. I call it familiarity. Anyway, I took him to the red M's for the first time and he ordered their delicious burger and fries. I asked our waitress to bring him the chipolte sauce while I enjoyed my Stella. We joked and laughed and I commended him for being a man who can eat his food and talk without being gross. We went on and watched the Texas tech game .. it is a sports bar. I joked to the waitresses as she tried to take our order that it must be so great working in a sports bar. He paid for my drink and I left the tip and we headed to the train since it was after 12.

I was talking to him about what was happening in my life lately, so we walked past Lafayette to Clinton - Washington. I wasn't quite ready to get on the train . We went to the corner store and did a throwback by buying fruit by the foot like back in the days. We're grown now, so I told him how I make the candy useful. We bought two coronas and headed to the train only to realize that we were on the wrong side. SO we went back up and then decided to go back to the store for more fruit by the foot. By then Jazzy called us. She and Michael were by Moe's and wanted to know where we were. We were only a few blocks away from them, so we bought our candy again , said goodnight to the owner again and walked back over to Moe's which is by M's. We got to Moes and I got carded but he didn't. lol, I'll take it as a compliment. We walked through the madness ... there were men sitting by the door watching this one hood rat with a fat ass. That was the only thing going for her according to Brando. I tried to walk through but these dudes kept pulling at me like vultures until they saw Brando. If it were BFF he would have gone off. He and Captain seem to think that we are their women until proven otherwise. We made our way to the back to meet Jazzy and Michael. I introduced Brando to them as my old childhood friend and we talked and laughed anD caught up. It didn't take too long before Jazzy and her boo parted ways with us to go home and fuck. Lucky them. I already knew they were going to do the do since it took them like 3 hours to meet us. She told Brando she knows he hasn't hung out with me in years so if I start dropping it like it's hot then it's time to take the drink away. Lol, she knows me so well.

Brando and I were going to leave soon after but he started feeling the vibe at MOE'S and decide to buy us drinks. I said Gin and tonic. Gin makes you sin, baby! We were extra hype since we realized that the clocks go back an hour tonight. So we had our gin and juice and started grooving to the music. The place was mixed but had a nice crowd and a good vibe. He kept watching the dude in the all jeans outfit ...feeling the need to teach a brother how to be smooth and dress well, and I told him he was being very gay and obsessive with this man's fashion mishap.. Eventually he got over it and decided to hit the pac-man machine. Now me, being normal and in control , told him that he was odd but I gave him a quarter. Apparently the machine only took bills. So would you believe that he had me guard the machine and I got threatened by this older woman with dreads and the dude who was playing the game before... They were both joking, but borderline serious. When he returned with his dollar, she told him that " his girl" was about to be jumped n five minutes for the game. Lol, now she is nowhere near ghetto but she did say she only comes to Moe's for the game. We agreed she was sad and shared a laugh. As for the dude... he was to disappointed to laugh, but he too gave Brando five minutes. I never knew grown folks could be so vicious. The woman told me that pac-man was the ish. Especially when drunk. Well low and behold . It wa nothing like playing on my cell phone. Brando was a pro and I was so excited. He let me play a game and I got caught up in the hype. Tre sad.

We sat and talked for a while and I bought us the second round of gin and tonics. Brando had a meeting to go to in the morning but said F it. He was finally letting his Rick fox hair down, lol.We chilled and danced to old school until the music got a little dull. We bid the bouncer good night and headed to the train singing "Thriller". As we walked down, he went ahead of me and then disappeared. There I am clicking my heels in this empty ass train station and he is no where to be found. Of course I Knew he was hiding, but it was still so eerie. Finally he jumped out and I cursed him.We went downstairs to wait for the C train when we decided to be really ghetto. I opened my corona by banging it on the telephone booth edge. He said "GERMS" i have an opener!" Lol, I drank my drink while we waited for the train. We played music and dance and he opened the second bottle.

Finally the train came and I began to whisper on it as not to be the loud as chick. We got stalled at one of the stops because of "police activity" as the conductor put it. This ghetto woman and her friend were trying to make the train and the woman got on and held the doors but her friend couldn't find her metro card. Luckily for her , this man who I thought was a woman swiped her in with his card. How nice... She and I started talking. I always talk to strangers. I told her we were saying "Girl you better make that train or your friend will be embarrassed!" We laughed and what not and the train moved on. We stopped again and the next stop for the same police activity. The same woman got off the train to run to the phone and make a call as her friend once again held the doors. Conductor said" Stand clear of closing doors" and home girl almost didn't make it. She got in and by this time everyone in the car was laughing. I said "You just keep pressing your luck." and we all stated dying.

Brando and I finally got to Broadway junction AKA HUB DE LA GHETTO, and we had to run for the shuttle bus. We got our seats and then the madness ensued. These lesbian hood rats/transsexuals on the back of the bus started arguing as we pulled out. I turned towards the front to ignore them only to see this drunk ass , old as flava flav Negro heading to the back with a bottle in his hand. This old ass man starts popping off," What son"? Pop off son!" Who the hell is he talking too?? Everyone on the bus turns around to watch. He is so drunk that he falls on this tall bald headed man. The man gets up and starts cursing Flav out as he walks to the front of the bus. The hood rats desist and everyone's attention is on Flav. So, he starts popping off to the bald head man in the front while he is being egged on by the MTA night workers in the back for some reason. He says to the man" What nigga , I ain't scared. I'll wear your ass out!!(hilarity) Pop off! I'm from East NY! " Lmao, everyone starts to laugh at this ludicrousness. The bald headed man tells him " Say one more word N!gga. One more word!!" and Flav retreats. " I'm sorry. I was so disrespectful. My bad." He opens his drink and takes a SWIG. GHETTO! Then he starts up again. " I'll wear your ass out. Pop off!! " By this time I am looking out the window turned away from Brando trying not to join the others in laughing. This went on for about three more times.

We finally got to Canarsie and Brando and I are laughing at the fact that old Flav actually got off in Canarsie. So hood, my ass! Anyway, we were going to wait for the bus but I started doing the potty dance. Brando's paranoid ass waited two stores down as I had to endure the filthy ass Macdonald's bathroom which reminds me ... I need to spray the bottom of my shoes with bleach. Eeeeck!I hurried and we walked back to the waiting area for the bus. When we got off, we raced each other half way down my avenue. Not a soul was outside. Talk about eerie . We got to my house and I told Brando not to start walking home until I called him so I know he was safe. He lives only three blocks away but still. Places like our neighborhood are more creepy since it's quiet. I called him and he joked" I'll wear your ass out". Lol, I said alright "Jungle " You wish. He got in his house and I tore up some jerk chicken and I here we are. I told him he needs to come out With me and my friends one weekend. We'd paint the town reD and throw stolen drink glasses out the cab window. Lol, I'll save that for next weekend. Those two gins and three beers haven't worn off, but it's all good.

By the way, my typing is spectacular. I was able to enjoy myself and not think about anything else. At this point, I am good with what is and I say to hell with what's not. It is what it is unless you make it more and if you don't.. oh well. Kudos to Jazzy and Michael cause I know they're tearing up the sheets with passion... I'm sure. I'll hear all about it tomorrow, and if not me then her. She's finally happy and I'm happy for her. Michael and her have come a long way.. I'd like to be where they are but I'm no longer stressing about anyone or anything. If it happens, it happens and if it doesn't... I'm still going to do me.