Get a grip, girl !

Imagine: Today I was on the B103 on my way to school. I was trying to enjoy the leisurely ride, but my music kept distracting me. Speechless, Can you handle it, Do it to me, Trading Places, Morning After, Getting late and even Mrs. Officer . I kept drifting into daydreams that left my stomach feeling a dull pain and my eyes wet. Each song had me playing the same scenario over and over like torture. I kept trying to re-focus my attention onto something else. Anything else. Look at that fool riding his skateboard in the street. Shit. kisses on my neck.. Shit... whispers in my ears.. whispers of Don't let go...My body being squeezed all over with intense passion, tender love bites on my waist line... God, I love you..tears in both eyes....kisses everywhere..him whispering I won't let go... I swear... .. SHITTT...Daydreams. I caught myself getting lost in emotions that aren't even known to me. The same daydreams that I have had forever.I kept thinking about what was said earlier. I felt myself trying to hold back the passionate thoughts but I am feeling it in my gut. Lump in my throat. It was as if I was actually being explored, caressed, loved. My eyes... I keep blinking. Overwhelmed with emotion. Wanting to experience it for real and wondering why I haven't. I thought about feeling like I'll never experience it and if I do.. I would get so lost in it. Lump in my throat. Thoughts of holding back. Thoughts of letting go. How can I be so overwhelmed by it in my daydreams but haven't felt it in my reality. Why? I try to gain control over my thoughts. I start to wonder why I am letting myself get lost, and my eyes, why am I trying to keep from crying? Why am I near tears on the B103 at five in the evening. Get a grip. I think about the date. It's that time. That devil PMS was sneaking up on me. Trying to get me to become emotional and cry on the bus because I haven't been there. I had to tell myself to stay aware. Only 5 more days. Don't get sucked in again. I quickly changed the music to "Walk it Out" but the conversation stayed in my head. The lump in my throat was slowly subsiding. I can't go to class feeling like a mess. The conversation stayed in my head.




nee23 (4:31:30 AM):have you ever made love?
sh (4:32:06 AM):Yea often
nee23 (4:32:19 AM):No
sh (4:32:57 AM):What do you mean no?
nee23 (4:33:44 AM):AS in no. I've had sex but I've never made honest passionate love with someone
sh (4:34:14 AM):Umm wow
nee23 (4:34:41 AM):or have never been made love to . which ever way it's put
ash (4:34:47 AM):I'm sorry you might be lucky.. It changes sex
nee23 (4:35:21 AM):I'm not
nee23 (4:35:36 AM):I rather get lost in the emotion than lost in the act
sh (4:35:42 AM):I dunno how that's possible have you had a man cater to you in bed before?
nee23 (4:36:00 AM):yes, but it's not the same
nee23 (4:36:12 AM):not to that extent
nee23 (4:36:29 AM):and not where he and I were in love and made love
nee23 (4:36:37 AM):that's the difference
sh (4:36:59 AM):True but I mean did he kiss your every crevice whisper sweet nothings and do it right
nee23 (4:37:09 AM):no
sh (4:37:48 AM):Hmm ok
nee23 (4:38:09 AM):ur turn