Some where between the transition from summer to fall, I found myself trading the hoodie and Old Navy ballet slippers for my Nine West boots and my random fitted blazers and leather jackets. I traded my Vaseline for Mac lip gloss and my completely pinned up hair to half pinned.
Low confidence was reflecting in my prior wardrobe and somehow I started feeling less like my self. I was shrinking away to the point that I was so nervous to talk to others on the first day of Speech class. One day I put on a pair of heels and wore a jacket instead. Heads turned. Poof. I no longer felt invisible. Now this is common sense of course, but I think I let all of the drama from the bs people and my unconscious depression drag me down physically and mentally. As comfortable as the temporary old me was I can't see myself going back. I'm still comfortable now. Just not hiding in oblivion. My outgoing manner has replaced that awkwardly shy girl just like my Aldos have replaces those ballet slippers. Don't worry, I can still run for the bus.
I'm changing everyday for the better and I like it. I reviewed my prior entries from when I was beginning school and feeling so overlooked, and I wonder how I became that person. I was afraid to talk to people and would get palpitations at the mere thought of speaking to others.
As I sat talking to Brando and giving him advice, I stepped outside of myself for a few minutes and wondered.. who is this young woman and where did she come from?
Calm, confident, poised and collected? Expressing her opinions without being pushy. Being a voice of reason without judging. Killing it in that turtle neck. I recognize her from a long time ago, but she seems so much different now. Welcome back love, whoever you are!
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